I’m not a poet, nor a musician. No, really, I’m not. But, sometimes I catch myself singing along to a song & I think “wait? What? That doesn’t make any sense…” I thought tonight I would jot down a few lyrics I have heard recently that cause me to question the intelligence of the music industry. Not some weird obscure song, but mainstream songs we have all heard. It was hard to narrow it down, but here are the finalists.
“Coast to Coast
L.A. to Chicago ”
– Sade ‘Smooth Operator’
Hmm…yeah, not quite. Keep going east just a big further.
“I don’t like cities, but I like New York
Other places make me feel like a dork.”
– Madonna “I love New York”
Well, it rhymes I suppose.
“There were plants , and birds, and rocks, and things..”
– America ‘Horse with no name’
Things??? How about coyotes, snakes, sand…I dunno, but things??? No wonder your horse doesn’t have a name.
“If I was a sculptor , but then again, no. “
– Elton John “Your Song’
I had an Elton John’s Greatest Hits CD in high school. (I will pause while you laugh and
jest at my expense) This song always bothered me. If “no” then why mention it at all.
Just delete the line.
“She’s a brick house. She’s the one, the only one built like an amazon.”
– The Commodores ‘Brick House’
It’s not only the lyrics I wonder about…but why do white people still dance to this at
“I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, what you did…As long as you love me.”
– Backstreet Boys
Set the standard a bit higher boys. Its lyrics like this that caused me to go to the
NSync concert instead of the Backstreet Boys. Oh, yeah. American Airlines Center in
Dallas. Spring of 2000…I was there.
“If I was invisible, I would be the smartest man.”
– Clay Aiken ‘Invisible’
I’m really trying…no, I don’t get it.
“I’m turning Japanese , I think I’m turning Japanese, I really think so.”
-The Vapors ‘Turning Japanese’
No, no you’re not. You aren’t turning Japanese. Stop saying it.
“MmmBop. Bop. Bop. MmmBop. Dibby Dop Dop. MmmBop…”
If you can pronounce the lyrics of a song without needing any teeth, it’s probably not
the best idea.
“Your lipstick stains, on the front lobe of my left side brains…”
– Train ‘Hey Soul Sister’
I don’t actually hate this song, but left side brains… you lost me there.
“You love me for who I am, like the stars hold the moon.”
-Miley Cyrus ‘When I look at you’
The stars don’t hold the moon…which means that he doesn’t love her for who she is?
Kinda looses the effect there.
“You look so deep, you know that it humbles me.”
-Justin Bieber ‘One Time’
Oh, the Biebs…I actually do like Justin Bieber, but this line…This line does not give
me the fever of the Bieber. (pop culture analogy if you don’t know)
I’m not saying that these people are idiots, they just had a bit of a lapse of judgement in choosing lyrics. Goodness knows I have said plenty of stupid things. Thankfully they aren’t in the heads of millions of people. Goodnight & share in the comments any other bad lyrics you can think of!