Global Warming. I Solved It.

Okay, so we all know about global warming. We hear about it everywhere and it really freaks us out. I mean, is it the end of the earth? Honestly, some of you think so. Others of you believe its a hoax. But, here are a few facts:

  • Temps have climbed 1.4 degrees since 1880. May not sound like much, but the polar bears beg to differ.
  • In 1910 Montana’s Glacier National Park had 150 glaciers. Now it has 27.
  • At this rate of warming the arctic will have an ice-free season by 2040.
Now, maybe you are getting really stressed about the pending peril. Or perhaps you are getting mad at this massive political scheme that you think global warming is. Everyone calm down. I know what we can do. 
My solution to curb global warming involves lots of cars, lots of people and lots of beer. Or maybe I should say it involves stopping lots of cars, lots of people and lots of beer. That can only be one thing. NASCAR.
I hear all the time about how I need to avoid the drive through window at the bank. Or that walking is better than driving (which it actually is). But no one ever talks about all these cars driving around in circles for hours, burning gas , and tires.
Here are some NASCAR facts:
  • 6 million people will attend NASCAR races this year. Thats a lot of cars driving from out of town.
  • The Daytona race is 500 miles long. 
  • Cars go up to 220mph
  • The average race is: 250 miles. Cars get 2 miles to the gallon. That is 125 gallons per car and there can be 40 cars at a time. This is 5,000 gallons of gas used per race.
  • On average there are 10 races per week. That is 50,000 gallons of gas that NASCAR uses each week. (this doesn’t include practice laps)
All those tires, all that gas, all those emissions just to watch people drive really fast in circles. I think that we can come up with something better to do than watch other people drive around and around. I mean, thats a lot of waste.
So, next time someone criticizes you for driving a Tahoe tell them about NASCAR. When they pull the plug on auto racing, we will all buy a Prius. Even if you think global warming is a myth, you must admit this is a good point. And if you are sweating thinking of the earth completely shutting down, go recycle something. You will feel better.
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7 Comments

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7 responses to “Global Warming. I Solved It.

  1. I love this post…and your writing. You should write a book. I would buy it and I know a lot of other people would too! Take care.

  2. Thanks Melissa! I was actually thinking about a book this morning. I'll keep you posted!

  3. Want to hear something depressing? A guy at our church is like, a super-intelligent genius who is one of the top experts in a very specific kind of ecology here in England…and says that, because we don't have the means to recycle everything we use here, a lot of it gets shipped to India to be recycled – meaning our carbon footprint is bigger if we recycle than if we don't. So he says we're doing the world a favor if we don't recycle. Lose-lose.

  4. No way! I've never heard that before. That is horrible!

  5. Well, I think you have a good point, my dear. But actually, the fault lies within our diets and cows. Yep, you heard me. Either we all need to become vegetarians or we need to give cattle some Beano and Kaopectate to stop this warming process. I'm just sayin… ;o)http://www.un.org/apps/news/story.asp?newsID=20772&CR1=warning

  6. Hi Elizabeth – Excellent points. God blessTracy

  7. I agree whole-heartedly. And you are hilarious.Abigail

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