Like all of you, I spent the day yesterday in a horrified shock. I cried off and on the whole day. It was nauseating and I couldn’t seem to shake it. I prayed so hard, for so many whose names I didn’t know. What on earth, God???
I went to bed last night haunted by the reality that there are 20 parents whose kids are no longer sleeping down the hall. My daughter went to school yesterday too, but she came home.
This morning I woke realizing that I can’t do so many things I want to & I felt hopeless.
I can’t homeschool my kids and never let them go into public again. After days like yesterday this is what I would prefer to do.
I can’t talk to each parent who lost a child & hear their story.
I can’t understand & fix gun control laws in a day.
I can’t go back and change what happened in those classrooms yesterday.
I also realized that there are things I can do. Things that will make a difference today and for the days ahead. I’m sure there will be more, but these are what I am starting with today.
I can keep praying.
I can value every person in front of me & teach my children to do the same.
I can make sure that I always leave my kids with a blessing. How many times have I been annoyed with my kids or been a frantic mom when I drop them off somewhere? Yesterday was a reminder that I want to always part with a smile & a blessing.
I can make sure my home is a refuge for my children. In a world that feels so unsafe & unpredictable, I want my home to be a refuge for my kids. A place of peace and security where they can play and dream without fear.
I can teach my kids to value and give dignity to human life. What if we raised up a generation that stood up to bullies, that befriended the lonely, that wasn’t consumed with image but others. I can do my best to raise kids who ask what they can offer instead of what they can take.
I can hold fast that despite all the emotion & anger, I have a God who is good & will hold all things together.
“…therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us.”
– Hebrews 6:18