fear series: my intangible cage

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Cages. We all have them. Those places that trap us and cause a sense of restriction. The wall we keep hitting no matter how hard we try to get free. Our arms squeeze through the bars and grab just enough life from the outside to keep us afloat. We accept that these walls hold our destiny within them. My cage is dangerously addictive and naturally hidden.   I long to get out, but cling to it for dear life. It is the deepest place of weakness for me.

Some of you were put in your cage by someone else. Maybe it was an abusive experience or a dysfunctional family. I don’t know how I ended up in mine. It was so subtle it almost seemed invisible. Intangible.

Growing up I would dread people asking me how I came to know Jesus. I didn’t have any tear-jerking story about neglect or abuse to tell them. There were no dramatic addictions or cheap romances. Jesus came to me softly. In my tender and kind childhood He came for me and has been with me since.

It was my mistake to think this meant I didn’t have a cage. My friends had eating disorders, absent fathers, cheap sex and the ghosts of abuse. Their cages were obvious and understandable. Mine is an internal one.

This past year is when I realized I had a cage too. Fear.  Not a fear of sharks, snakes or the dark. ( okay, sometimes the dark )  But subtle fears. Ones that are easy to brush off and ignore. I am afraid that people will think that I am too overbearing. I am afraid I have to work non-stop to make sure that life is what I want it to be. I am afraid people will never understand me. I am afraid something might be wrong with one of my kids. I am afraid this headache is actually caused by a rare brain tumor… I am afraid of lots of things. The buzz of anxiety is a constantly in the back of my mind.

But I have decided that it is time to stop. These past few months have been filled with me discovering just how boxed in I am by fear. I want out of my cage.

How fitting that we celebrate Good Friday and Easter this week?

Good Friday – The day Jesus got in my cage for me.

Easter – The day Jesus busted out.

So, I’m following Him. There is no need for me to stay in a cage whose bars cannot contain me.

Over these next six Tuesdays I will be posting a series about the lessons I am learning in my journey out of fear. Embarrassing? Yes. Crazy vulnerable? Yes. Doing it anyway? Dang straight.

Before we go, I have to teach you one thing. These past few weeks whenever I feel anxiety and fear creeping in, I say the following phrase:

“Fear, I have a destiny & you will not keep me from it.”

So here is to our destiny and the removal of our cages.

Thanks for journeying along.

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19 Comments

Filed under My Intangible Cage

19 responses to “fear series: my intangible cage

  1. Liz, thank you for being vulnerable and posting this. I just want you to know that you are not alone! I’ve recently discovered how held by fear I am and how much is influences my decisions and actions. But I’m ready to bust out of this cage too! Thanks for the encouragement!

  2. Michenzie, thanks for sharing. Lets bust out together lady!

  3. Lolly

    I think these posts are going to bless a lot of people, including me. Looking forward to Tuesdays.

  4. oh girl. so good. I’ll be joining every Tuesday – and telling others to do so as well. I deeply identify with this whole post. love!

  5. Beautiful, beautiful post! I so look forward to this series! This part – “Good Friday – The day Jesus got in my cage for me.” I am in love with that line. So moved this week more than any other year I’ve walked with Jesus about the weight of what He did for us on the cross.

  6. mnicholas2012

    Thank you for saying what so many of us feel.

  7. The Sassy Pen

    Thanks for this post. You don’t know me (I don’t think) but we are on staff at Antioch Norman.

    I’ve always struggled with anxiety. This past week I’ve had panic/anxiety attacks to the point where I thought I needed to be hospitalized. Fear is terrible and debilitating. You’re so right. It’s like a cage.

    Thanks for helping me feel less alone this week.

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  11. I found you because Max Lucado retweeted you. I’m so glad he did!! Looking forward to Tuesdays!!

  12. mnicholas2012

    I am afraid of everything. Driving In case we wreck etc. thanks for the reality check.

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