the nature of longing

photoI’m not going to lie to you people. I’m wearing yoga pants right now with an old sorority shirt from college. ( Go Kappa! ) Kids and I are doing crafts this morning, so its pretty much my uniform today.

However, I always envisioned myself getting up and putting on a pencil skirt, a smashing blouse and a pair of killer pumps.

When I was in college I dreamt of law school, prosecuting dictators for their war crimes, helping run political campaigns, planting churches by the hundreds…and lets be honest…we all secretly hope to be discovered for some deep wealth of gifting. Be interviewed by Oprah, have 100,000 followers on twitter, and run the circuit of late night talk shows.

This is what my day looks like today:

Crafts with the kids. Take them to our local family center to register them for soccer. Next we are running up to the church and loading a box I need for an UnBound event coming up. Then it is off to Target for a myriad of things I forgot when I went grocery shopping a few days ago. The second half of the day I will be at home attempting to bring order to this chaos in my house. I’m sure there will be a pirate ship adventure and perhaps a fort to be made in the mix of it all.

It is really easy to feel average on days like today. Who is going to want to know my opinion and ask for advice? My four year old. That’s pretty much it. What will I run today? The vacuum.

Last night I went to bed thinking about how much I really do love being a mother. This is a season I value deeply, and know it will be gone in the blink of an eye.

Being content in the season I am in doesn’t mean I do not still long for the other dreams in my heart.

On days like today there is a temptation to look back at all those dreams I’ve had for so many years. It’s so easy to feel like they are slipping away.

Then I remember.

I will spend all day caring for people. Just like Jesus. I won’t learn law, but I will learn how to be multi-tasking like a master. I won’t use my skills at logic and deductive reasoning inside of a court room…but they will come in handy as I help Tait learn how to put things in size biggest to smallest.

I can end my day knowing that I was loved today and I gave love in return. What could be better than that?

Really, all the dreams in our hearts are put there by God. Because He has dreams for us. I don’t really have ambition to participate in war tribunals ( well, maybe just a little ) or run political campaigns anymore.

But I still beat to see justice established in my generation. I want to scream at the top of my lungs for all those in the world who are trapped in silence. I still want to go to grad school. God knows that. He made me. And He knows that some day I would love to go to work in a power suit.

Life is full of seasons in which we long for more.

People running campaigns longing for the day that they have families. Kids waiting for the day they grow up. Lawyers waiting to get that career-defining case. Women waiting to become mothers. Men fighting cancer & longing to hear the word “remission”. We are all aching inside for something we do not yet have.

It’s the nature of longing.

Every season has it…until we get to heaven.

In the midst of waiting for the promises of God to be fulfilled we have grace to thrive in our season. —> click to tweet.

Resting in the truth that God is faithful. He isn’t constrained by time limits, resumes, or people who feel hidden.

He sees us. He knows us. He calls us. And He never forgets.

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Filed under Faith, Kiddos, My Life Thus Far, Uncategorized, Whimsy

5 responses to “the nature of longing

  1. Oh, I love this! And can relate on so many levels. In the midst of longing for my current season of trial to end, I still find myself longing for all the big dreams I used to have – like totally revamping the education system, or planting churches that are open and authentic and truly love like Jesus did, or being a famous author, or public speaker, or just generally building something that will last. This is such a great reminder for me to trust Those longings to God and find the little ways in which those dreams can be enacted even in my current life situation.

  2. And that’s the truth…

  3. Wow–so good. Thanks for your encouragement especially for young moms like me. Since becoming a mom (recently) I’ve felt like this on many occasions. Good to be reminded that I am not alone and that what I do is important.

  4. This is beautiful. I especially love the reminder that we will not (and should not) be completely satisfied until we get to Heaven….and that is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you for sharing!

  5. Blackburn Deana

    A sermon by my pastor, David Danielson, blessed me: “Living Life in the Not Yet.” We all have seasons of “not yet.” God answers our prayers with YES, NO, or NOT YET. The emphasis of David in that sermon was not just on what the “not yet” looks like, but on living life – John 10:10 style. And not focusing on the tenure of the “not yet.” Living, not just longing. Bless you, and, yes, L&L KKG.

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