I received an email from a werewolf once.
At least she said she was a werewolf. Leanara was her name and her story rattled me in all the uncomfortable ways. As I scrolled through the message, the lines told of her dreams and her pain. Abusive father, a lost lover and the scars on her heart that remind her of the reality from which she comes.
Now I’m no werewolf and I’ve got my money on you not being a mythical creature either, but our own story lines run parallel to Leanara’s in a lot of ways. We’ve got dreams in our hearts. Things that keep us up at night and inspire colorful ideas that define our passions. Along the way though something went wrong.
Life happened. Our dreams met reality and they didn’t get along. In fact, they have grown into enemies.
A week ago I sat myself down at a coffee shop here in town. It was buzzing with conversations and people hammering out some work on their computers. My seat was at a worn old desk. Covered in scratches and no doubt saturated with a history of people who have occupied this seat before.
The best stories being told that day weren’t from friends gathered around the tables. The best words spoken were from voices in the drawer next to me. For years people have been leaving notes in this desk drawer. Notes filled with encouraging messages, funny sayings and their hopes for the future.
A pile began to form on the desk in front of me as I made my way through each piece of paper. This was one of the first ones I read and it struck a chord in me.
I breathed it in because I needed it to sink deep. So often I feel the incomplete. I can see the gaps in my desire and my ability. Try as I might no bridge seems to work. It’s just what it is. Too short. I keep coming up too short.
I observe my incompleteness hurt people as I flounder to love others. Sometimes I am just downright selfish. Hoping to love deeply and yet I can’t seem to color inside the lines when it comes to relationships. They just get messy from time to time.
These words though. I’m good. Incomplete yes, but that’s okay. Because God isn’t done with me yet. He hasn’t given up or fallen short. I’m learning, growing and becoming. Every day. It’s baby steps sometimes. But even baby steps lead somewhere.
I thought of Leanara’s email. Her pain in seeing the brokeness around her and yet trying to believe for something better. And that’s where we all are. Werewolf or not.
I wish I could grab Leanara by the hand and bring her to this place. To this coffee shop and let her read the notes herself. She may not be where she is going yet. She may be incomplete, but she is good. It’s okay to still be in the works. I wish we could sip coffee and talk about each note as we read them together.
I’d tell her I don’t really believe in werewolves, but I believe in her.
Over the next few weeks I’ll share a few more notes from the drawer. But this is where we are starting. Here at the crossroads of reality and hope. So often these things are at war with each other. As of today, we are calling a cease-fire.
No more fighting and frustration between our lack and our dream. We are good. Incomplete but good. And that’s what we’ll stand on.
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