Tag Archives: failure

Werewolves and Talking Drawers

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I received an email from a werewolf once.

At least she said she was a werewolf. Leanara was her name and her story rattled me in all the uncomfortable ways. As I scrolled through the message, the lines told of her dreams and her pain. Abusive father, a lost lover and the scars on her heart that remind her of the reality from which she comes.

Now I’m no werewolf and I’ve got my money on you not being a mythical creature either, but our own story lines run parallel to Leanara’s in a lot of ways. We’ve got dreams in our hearts. Things that keep us up at night and inspire colorful ideas that define our passions. Along the way though something went wrong.

Life happened. Our dreams met reality and they didn’t get along. In fact, they have grown into enemies.

A week ago I sat myself down at a coffee shop here in town. It was buzzing with conversations and people hammering out some work on their computers. My seat was at a worn old desk. Covered in scratches and no doubt saturated with a history of people who have occupied this seat before.

The best stories being told that day weren’t from friends gathered around the tables. The best words spoken were from voices in the drawer next to me. For years people have been leaving notes in this desk drawer. Notes filled with encouraging messages, funny sayings and their hopes for the future.

A pile began to form on the desk in front of me as I made my way through each piece of paper. This was one of the first ones I read and it struck a chord in me.

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I breathed it in because I needed it to sink deep. So often I feel the incomplete. I can see the gaps in my desire and my ability. Try as I might no bridge seems to work. It’s just what it is. Too short. I keep coming up too short.

I observe my incompleteness hurt people as I flounder to love others. Sometimes I am just downright selfish. Hoping to love deeply and yet I can’t seem to color inside the lines when it comes to relationships. They just get messy from time to time.

These words though. I’m good. Incomplete yes, but that’s okay. Because God isn’t done with me yet. He hasn’t given up or fallen short. I’m learning, growing and becoming. Every day. It’s baby steps sometimes. But even baby steps lead somewhere.

I thought of Leanara’s email. Her pain in seeing the brokeness around her and yet trying to believe for something better. And that’s where we all are. Werewolf or not.

I wish I could grab Leanara by the hand and bring her to this place. To this coffee shop and let her read the notes herself.  She may not be where she is going yet. She may be incomplete, but she is good. It’s okay to still be in the works. I wish we could sip coffee and talk about each note as we read them together.

I’d tell her I don’t really believe in werewolves, but I believe in her. 

Over the next few weeks I’ll share a few more notes from the drawer. But this is where we are starting. Here at the crossroads of reality and hope. So often these things are at war with each other. As of today, we are calling a cease-fire.

No more fighting and frustration between our lack and our dream. We are good. Incomplete but good. And that’s what we’ll stand on.

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Pages have expiration dates

Because I love you, I must tell you to turn the page.

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Life is about so many things. The relationships we hold, the values we believe, the things we dream as we swing our legs off kitchen counters. Our stories are woven over long summer days and countless conversations we have while drinking overpriced coffee.

Like any good story, our lives need several great elements. The characters, the plots, the emotions that come out with every twist and turn. But there is one element that is the hardest to come to terms with in our lives. Timing.

Timing is everything.

And I gotta tell you friend. Sometimes we just don’t get timing. Sometimes we just can’t seem to turn the page.

The paragraphs may be good, exciting and everything you’ve dreamed. What a shame to move on to the rest of the story when this page is so perfect. Moving on would mean loosing this.

Could be that the page is a total failure. Our worst nightmare. The most unimpressive parts of us put down onto the paper. The words we shouldn’t have said and the actions we know we will regret. Temptation is to keep re-reading it. Trying to figure out how to change it. Desperate to find the edit button and fix the mess. Moving on would mean accepting it for what it is. 

But dare I say it? The page has an expiration date.

I’m not sure what it is, but humans have this odd reasoning that if we don’t let something go, then it stays. It doesn’t stay. It moves on with or without us.

Yet we get stuck. We embed ourselves into this one place too afraid to leave. To frustrated to leave. To happy to leave. But life builds. It always builds.

We’ve got to turn the page or we never see how it ends. Where does the dream take us? What does happily ever after look like? How powerful can our redemption actually be?

No matter how great the present is, it will go sour if we don’t let it grow and morph into what it is already becoming. You and I are constantly outgrowing our lives. New days demand new ideas. New ambitions and strategies. Keeping a growing kid in their old toddler clothes doesn’t stop them from growing. It just makes them uncomfortable and awkward. And it ruins the clothes, turning a sweet memory into torn fabric.

Life doesn’t stop for perfection. We don’t have the option for a million edits. The words said at the wrong time, the choice that threw everything off course. It is what it is. Something may happen in the future to salvage it but you have to get there to find out.

Stop reliving yesterday’s happiness and find the courage to seek out today’s.

Stop reliving your failure. You don’t belong there anymore.

Whatever you are stuck on. The good, the bad and the ugly. It’s expired. There is a new thing waiting for you.

Go on. Turn the page friend. It’s about to expire. And the next chapter is oh-so-good.

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Filed under Faith, Fire, Lifestyle, My Life Thus Far, something bigger, Whimsy